2.12.2011

The Game

There are many thing that go by 'The Game'.  If you're like me, you've been playing the game for all of your life.  (By the way, I lost the game.)  But some have not heard of one of my other favourite games that require no dice, no board, no player pieces, and no cards.  All you need is a form of liquid drink, a TV, and Pierre McGuire.

How to play:


If you are new to the world of hockey or watching hockey on the telly, then I don't think you have heard of the McGuire drinking game.  This is probably the only highlight to hearing McGuire on the mic. I don't care if you like him or not; he is not the most pleasant voice to hear.  And take my advice: this game has made certain games so much more fun!

Here are the rules:

Take 1 drink/gulp/shot if McGuire mentions any of the following:
- Jonathan Toews
- Tyler Myers
- Dion Phaneuf
- Carey Price
- Mike Richards
- Monster
- Whammo!
- El Kabong
- Real Deal
- Active Stick
- Puck Poise
- Big Body Presence
- Calls a player 'special' or 'a fine young man'
- Wow
- Tenacity

Take 2 drinks/gulps/shots if McGuire:
- Giggles randomly
- Pronounces a European club team or a name with the European pronunciation (includes the French-Canadians)
- Mentions people he met in Europe
- Says "Team X did a great job scouting Z player"
- Goes nuts when a team has too many men on the ice
- When a stick breaks he rambles about one piece sticks
- Says 'Welcome to the show' (Ie. "Welcome to the Crosby show")
- Cuts off Gordon Miller
- Goes on about a player's junior career
- Uses the terms "sheer larceny" and "It's hammer time!"
- Says the World Junior Championship host city is "Beautiful" or "Is filled with beautiful people."
- Says "Time and space"
- Says "That's not good enough!"

Take 3 drinks/gulps/shots if McGuire:
- Mentions a Staal brother that isn't playing
- Mentions a Sutter brother not involved in the game
- Says the game is a classic
- Says "Roof daddy!"
- Says "That's a Double Dion"
- Says "X player is oozing with hockey sense"
- If he uses 3 adjectives in a row to describe a player or team. (Ex: Size, athleticism, composure.  Drink extra if body presence is thrown in.)
- Says "Team X should be so excited about having this guy.  He is gonna be great for them down the road."
- Says "He's sucking dirty pond water."

Chug if McGuire:
- Has an orgasm on the mic
- Ruins the moment.  (Ex: Butchers a call.  "Canada has tied the game with 5.5 seconds. Can you believe it? (Gord) "I can, Gord." (McGuire))
- Says "That's vintage X" (Ex: "That's vintage Jake Allen")

I hope you've enjoyed this introduction to the world of off-ice hockey entertainment. Gives you something to do next time you're with the buds.  Cheers!

And for those of you that are visual... (some rules aren't in this image.)

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